Comparing Myself.

Its likely that we’ve all heard the old adage “comparison is the thief of joy,” said by Theodore Roosevelt.

There are also several bloggers out there who’ve talked about this subject. And I’m about to add to that list.

But I’m not going to talk about the usual comparison of ourselves to other people. No. I’m going to talk about comparing ourselves to ourselves.

Its not a huge secret that I’ve struggled with motivation in the past, as seen here, here and here. And probably some other places, but I’m sure three references will suffice.

I also get very down on myself because I feel as if I’m not nearly as active as I used to be.

2010

2011

2012

As you can see, in 2010, I had a lot of motivation inside of me. When I ran, I hardly ever did any less than 5 miles. And I ran at least 5-6 days a week, unless I was on vacation.

Looking at 2011, I did just more than half of the miles I covered in 2010. I had a bit of an increase in 2012. Now in 2013, I am no where near either of those other 3 years.

To be honest, looking at these numbers makes me feel bad about myself. I consider myself a runner but I feel like a fraud because I don’t feel like I’m running enough. I know there’s no specific distance or amount of miles that would make one a “runner,” but knowing where I used to be and where I am now I don’t feel legit.

BUT! I know that I’m in a much better place in my life. I ran so much in 2010 because it was a bad period for me. I was in a horrible living situation and I couldn’t be me. I had taken on some bad eating (or should I say non-eating) habits. Between the almost-non-existent-eating and the abundance of running, those were the only two things I felt like I had control over in my life. It was more of a control thing. My motivation to run was to have control over my life. It was my stress reliever.

I got out of that bad situation in late 2010 which is when my running dwindled, hence the lower miles in 2011. I was in a much better place with my life. Who I was. Where I was. And the company I kept. I was healthier. I kicked my bad eating habits, too. I even received compliments from other friends that I began looking better, complexion and some (much needed) weight gain really helped me out.

That carried over into 2012. Now in 2013 I’ve started CrossFit which has made my tallied mile counts suffer, but I know I’m healthier. I’m stronger. I’m a better person, on the inside.

So while I will get down on myself from time to time about the lack of miles my little feet have covered, I have to tell myself why the changes have happened. And I have the rest of my life to run healthy and non-stress-related miles.

When were you at your highest mileage point?
What pushes you to run so much, life? Goals? Love for running?
Ever compare yourself to your past?

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