This morning I was up and at ’em around 5:30. I got dressed and, as I was putting on my shoes (my Brooks, not my new kicks), thinking about how far I was going to run today. I thought to myself, “self, I’m feeling good this morning. Well rested. Hydrated. And ready to run. I think I can fit 6 miles in.” I downed a little bit of water before stepping outside in the 80* weather with 60% humidity and started on my way. A tenth of a mile in and I thought, “holy hell. This is tough. Maybe I’ll get between 4 and 5 in.” My legs felt so heavy and I felt out of breath. Around mile 2.5 my chest was burning and my right lung was cramping. Can a lung even cramp?! I felt awful. I think I ended up taking 5 walk breaks. And I don’t play with chest pain.
3.25 miles, 32:57 = 10:08/mile
I know I’m not the fastest runner. Never have been. I think my fastest mile ever was around 8:00. But I was so proud that I was consistently staying around 9:20 – 9:30.
Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was me having a bad day. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. One thing is for sure: it was tough.
I’m going to throw a pity party for myself. Bear with me. I’ll get over it. Don’t pity me for throwing a pity party for myself. Tell me to put my big girl panties on a get over it. Tell me to tough it out.
As you may know (and if you don’t, you’re about to find out,) I’ve had some motivational issues. I can’t seem to get my shit straight. I can’t seem to find the groove I once had.
I have been struggling with this problem now for about a year. Even during my last half marathon training. It has been so difficult to crawl out of bed in the mornings. I know most people say, “well, just don’t think about it. Just get up and do it!” And that’s what I used to do. I’ve lost my mojo and now I need to find it.
I used to run (on average) 104.5 miles/month (26.1 miles/week). Now I feel good if I’m even mustering up the energy to get in 60 miles/month (15 miles/week).
I don’t know what my problem is. I don’t know what’s going on. I still love the feeling I get after working out. I regret when I don’t workout. I don’t know how to kick my ass out of bed to get started again…
I get new workout clothes. I get new workout shoes. That does not get me out of bed like it used to, like it should.
I just want to find my groove again. I want to find out where I can drink to kool-aid again. I
Do you have any words of wisdom? Do you know where I can find the kool-aid?